tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11289789257072712024-03-02T00:04:45.016-07:00if i didn't have a sense of humorBarbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12197340334699196246noreply@blogger.comBlogger657125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128978925707271.post-64307662397076174062017-02-22T20:58:00.001-07:002017-02-22T21:18:58.834-07:00When Granny Pants Were Cool<div style="text-align: right;">
I can state for fact that every woman reading this ad wishes these underwear were still popular.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK0TorNNRbTC7XLAPdlC3rPj0-sD1E3I0mLY0l_d4nEFR3mvidhdmG_HeQH2K3doLAflCgCh1-v1s5Ep7BVB5PUrwM3dZfZUVS6BrOAP5HZkwdMLo76HwYZZnJCXM5bniF3avTsG1K3I4/s1600/granny+panties%255B4%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK0TorNNRbTC7XLAPdlC3rPj0-sD1E3I0mLY0l_d4nEFR3mvidhdmG_HeQH2K3doLAflCgCh1-v1s5Ep7BVB5PUrwM3dZfZUVS6BrOAP5HZkwdMLo76HwYZZnJCXM5bniF3avTsG1K3I4/s400/granny+panties%255B4%255D.jpg" width="316" /></a></div>
Oh
sure, when you’re young and thin, thongs and bikinis are fun. When
you’re young, nothing bothers you, not even when your underwear try to
kill you.<br />
<br />
But as you reach your forties, you long for granny
panties. Sure, they aren’t much to look at, but like a pair of comfy
shoes, so are granny’s. Comfort is a wonderful thought.<br />
<br />
Society
has made granny’s unthinkable. Try finding a cute pair. You can’t.
And they store them in the “Just My Size” section and put stupid little
designs on them. They aren’t form-fitting either, just blousy. So we
don’t get them.<br />
<br />
But we want them.<br />
<br />
<i>We really, really want them. </i><br />
<br />
Sorry men.<br />
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<br />
Marty’s
a little peeved because Ralph is strutting around the office in his
underwear – just like he does on Ladies’ Day at the club.<br />
<br />
You
see, Ralph can’t help that Munsingwear undies glorify his manly figure!
“Clings as snug as a bug in a rug!” he shouts, while Marty stands
helplessly in his Unionsuit.<br />
<br />
“Hey! My one piece is just as light
and cool and snug as your undies, and protects me from drafts as
well!” <br />
<br />
Yeah, drafts like World War II had, Marty. 4F, right?<br />
<br />
Both,
however, agree on the real reason they love their Munsingwear undies.<br />
<br />
“It’s the stretchy seat! The seat alone is worth the price of
admission!” (Evidently, there is an amusement park in them there
undies.)<br />
<br />
“What a pleasure when I crouch in these!!” “Yeah? Well MINE
don’t creep!”<br />
<br />
Stretchy seat, snug fit…no creeping….well, these
are all reasons men should stand around in their skivvies discussing
their underwear.<br />
<br />
It’s very manly.<br />
<br />
“Here Ralph, catch my ball! We’re both safe with Munsingwear!”<br />
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Jack, Stu, Arnie and Ralph.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiidj6Pbv17XMGMFElFbbgH5PqFZwp-uBT9MNLKZFfvG0OLBJ4hiVTs-YffTIL42n0Kq696aqW9yj5CzBpBveRrN01r2ZSPobTta-U80QjV-OE2NrFV2uk7oy3mJKs0tNIcoVGgQrovWKY/s1600/burton-cool-suit1%255B4%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiidj6Pbv17XMGMFElFbbgH5PqFZwp-uBT9MNLKZFfvG0OLBJ4hiVTs-YffTIL42n0Kq696aqW9yj5CzBpBveRrN01r2ZSPobTta-U80QjV-OE2NrFV2uk7oy3mJKs0tNIcoVGgQrovWKY/s320/burton-cool-suit1%255B4%255D.jpg" width="252" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They work for Interpol. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They work hard. They sweat. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Four men. Eight armpits. Four crotches. Probably one with back hair.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Four
suits that “take the heat off”. No matter what situation they get in,
the suits are breathable, and they’ll look crisp and sexy in their
Burton suits when they track down Pussy Galore. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I’m not sure what the sunglasses are supposed to do.</div>
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<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe-FKdBvjUUaXNcFTXytBNduJ92MW1VfyXt7avlwadBK5kV43tMP-I8fLMVtEozQrvbrOrXPbN5udnstkJZo-2Xajm39tL9F6epxZdpp7cLhRFNMulkQTz1Oys8v0vvURq07u7uhPWjpY/s1600/Can+I+have+a+toy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe-FKdBvjUUaXNcFTXytBNduJ92MW1VfyXt7avlwadBK5kV43tMP-I8fLMVtEozQrvbrOrXPbN5udnstkJZo-2Xajm39tL9F6epxZdpp7cLhRFNMulkQTz1Oys8v0vvURq07u7uhPWjpY/s640/Can+I+have+a+toy.jpg" width="489" /></a>They just remodeled the kitchen and got all matchy-matchy on the appliances.<br />
<br />
You see, Frigidaire sold them on the idea of making the kitchen the "happy hub" of their home. "Just start with one appliance" says Frigidaire, "then add..."<br />
<br />
Soon with Helen and Bob, it became all consuming. You see, they really wanted that hub where they could see each other at all times. The "kitchen ideas" of "harmonizing" were just too hard to resist.<br />
<br />
Now that they've fulfilled the dream of having all of their appliances match, they are going to take a class on how to actually use them together. See, Bob is pouring an iced tea from the freezer, Helen is baking something (see counter) but is putting it in the dryer and COULD SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE THE BABY A TOY? Nothing like a little "here are some toys, but we'll put you in this contraption so you can't reach any and we'll ignore you while you cry".<br />
<br />
Bob and Helen enjoy their new appliances. Just not each other. <br />
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********* <br />
Okay, I was feeling sorry for myself.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm back.<br />
You may throw tomatoes.<br />
********* </div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
What you are about to read is true.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Guys don't make passes at girls with fat asses.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikgZCuKCNBOhFqrNQdjNUikH_Kzu_-gN6_o1ZTV8DRTR-T8hOhDDzy4p4X5sdDzgCkN9KLF8IJAh2wkSd2Z_ApnpPT3dgEUSvT9ZLNFKdHfeRaEFm-4-lnmq78wceeoCHJ_FUVNgNmkAM/s1600/fatasses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikgZCuKCNBOhFqrNQdjNUikH_Kzu_-gN6_o1ZTV8DRTR-T8hOhDDzy4p4X5sdDzgCkN9KLF8IJAh2wkSd2Z_ApnpPT3dgEUSvT9ZLNFKdHfeRaEFm-4-lnmq78wceeoCHJ_FUVNgNmkAM/s640/fatasses.jpg" width="292" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Seriously, we mean it.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Or poochie tummies or thunder thighs. Men prefer women to be delicate little creatures, with no heartiness to them at all.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You see, should you be able to mow the back 40, or tend the oxen while furring the rows, you will be completely and utterly unattractive to the male being. Those kind of "women" work on farms and raise our food. You do NOT want to be one of "those" kind of women.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And get rid of those glasses, for heaven's sake! They don't make passes at girls that wear glasses either!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Men prefer that you stretch, bend or improve your bosom and your "leisure class bulges". Because he wouldn't marry a woman without money either! So make sure you have an ample dowry too. What's that old saying - it's as easy to marry a rich girl than a poor one? Yeah, he's looking for that. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They have this equipment at Pretty Body, and you KNOW you want to use it, because nothing says "small ass" like Toastmaster!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdmnBVfMwjpXqtdyZjYDjVllatzS-EXOlpWO0hf50rZVSgqcm4RjSvtoyRiuNpcyVwYqCBAPe48W1qOTm3xOl5OwAq8O9EcrVzRozMGzdVyHHDR7ZbF4iNSf8DP8EQcZetYf3LYvI5O5Q/s1600/70s-1970s-workout-products-machines-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdmnBVfMwjpXqtdyZjYDjVllatzS-EXOlpWO0hf50rZVSgqcm4RjSvtoyRiuNpcyVwYqCBAPe48W1qOTm3xOl5OwAq8O9EcrVzRozMGzdVyHHDR7ZbF4iNSf8DP8EQcZetYf3LYvI5O5Q/s320/70s-1970s-workout-products-machines-4.jpg" width="258" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Honestly, you are there to be an ornament, nothing more. You are a vessel for his entertainment, and that alone should be enough for you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">When you're lounging at home, make sure you have this on (but of course, not when he's anywhere around.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA2WF749N40aJ_3_66L_2o7ZBVEYibfsMRmAsO6GqdhvXKwRhd2uOeDnZMF9MeEFsdHLhF8g2dYNIYIcmRaAzpxaHK893vP430SjND2AktXxEMgDOkxvaHAfjY0CM30BfZhYyaq-bSMp4/s1600/70s-1970s-workout-products-machines-2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA2WF749N40aJ_3_66L_2o7ZBVEYibfsMRmAsO6GqdhvXKwRhd2uOeDnZMF9MeEFsdHLhF8g2dYNIYIcmRaAzpxaHK893vP430SjND2AktXxEMgDOkxvaHAfjY0CM30BfZhYyaq-bSMp4/s400/70s-1970s-workout-products-machines-2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Why, you really shouldn't be doing anything other than pointing to a dress (DON'T speak, for goodness sake!) and making an affirmative motion with your face (must be pretty and slim) only, and let the hired help fetch that for you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Being thin and beautiful is EVERYTHING. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">EVERYTHING.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Now, doesn't it make you feel good to know that Pretty Body is now an empty, abandoned wig store? I'll bet it does.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm off for a hot fudge sundae. Any takers? </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy3LKYnNbr6W9cdqY_a7Uiicefqumui0Xei-PCx2z5SqaMH9q5afInvTlCSXuFcWdHDKjvmQXKQL7NtxkdJZ2c7O5hA7B25VkX74VOWLvkOCMoKL9tfyjl6GOUvHjZN9t6ljhb3ypi5Wc/s1600/iwannabethegirl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy3LKYnNbr6W9cdqY_a7Uiicefqumui0Xei-PCx2z5SqaMH9q5afInvTlCSXuFcWdHDKjvmQXKQL7NtxkdJZ2c7O5hA7B25VkX74VOWLvkOCMoKL9tfyjl6GOUvHjZN9t6ljhb3ypi5Wc/s640/iwannabethegirl.jpg" width="638" /></a></div>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKcgKiGp5VymQgrKW5c9RLBP73cKpjAqGYt_tVWkEdfIXmwOrKkm3O5BcuUB34lq7ZrnWqwJryR_o30-RNaCs6dMgE_c-S7fp5U__GiJzF3vkvoJNdNNqhO_AcoEbX3QWV_sRS-5NdoOo/s1600/cigarette.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKcgKiGp5VymQgrKW5c9RLBP73cKpjAqGYt_tVWkEdfIXmwOrKkm3O5BcuUB34lq7ZrnWqwJryR_o30-RNaCs6dMgE_c-S7fp5U__GiJzF3vkvoJNdNNqhO_AcoEbX3QWV_sRS-5NdoOo/s640/cigarette.jpg" width="444" /></a></div>
Say du MAURIER. <br />
<br />
Say it, dammit! du MAURIER.<br />
<br />
Because apparently, Martha believes she's smoking one. <br />
<br />
Martha has had "issues" since that party over at the Merriweather's. Seems her husband Ralph DOES like a second cup of coffee. Since then, Martha has shown her true crazy.<br />
<br />
Sure, she looks pretty, but Ralph knows those eyes pretty well after bailing them out of jail enough. "Never sleep with crazy", his friends told him and how he wished he'd listened.<br />
<br />
Ever since the "snap" though, Martha has been content to pose around the house with her fingers in the air. Ralph occasionally blows smoke in her direction so she will think she actually has a lit one in her hand. It is kind of odd how the "du MAURIER" words kind of hang in the air by her hand, but Ralph just attributes that to the spells she sometimes casts when she's with her "friends". It doesn't bother him much any more.<br />
<br />
Now, if he could just get her out of this "red" phase...<br />
<i><b><br /></b></i>
<i><b>ED NOTE: Thanks for sticking around during my "hiatus". It's app</b><b>reciated.</b></i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12197340334699196246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128978925707271.post-31808118824462093662013-06-26T20:13:00.002-06:002013-06-26T20:25:41.966-06:00So God Made A Dog<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And On the ninth day God looked down on his wide eyed children and said “they need a companion."</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So God made a dog.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/9wWHLdHroyQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
God said:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
“I need somebody willing to wake
up give kisses, pee on a tree, sleep all day, wake up again, give more kisses. Then stay up until midnight basking in the glow of the television set.”</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So <em>God made a dog</em>.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
God said:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
“I need somebody willing to sit, then
stay, then roll over, then with no ego or complaint dress in hats they
don’t need and costumes they don’t understand. I need somebody who can
break wind without a first care or a second thought, who can chase tails, sniff crotches, fetch
sticks and lift spirits with a lick. Somebody who no matter what you
didn’t do or couldn’t take or didn’t win or couldn’t make will love you
without judgement just the same.”</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><div style="text-align: left;">
<i>So God made a dog.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
God said:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
“I need somebody strong enough to pull sleds and find bombs,
yet gentle enough to love babies and lead the blind. Somebody who will spend all day on a couch with a resting head and supportive eyes to lift the spirits of a broken heart.”</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>So God made a dog.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It had to be somebody who’d remain patient and loyal even through loneliness, somebody to care and cuddle, snuggle and nuzzle and cheer and charm and
snore and slobber and eat the trash and chase the squirrels.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Somebody who would bring a family together with the selflessness of an open heart.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Somebody who would bark and then pant and then reply with rapid wag of tail
when their best friend says let’s go for a ride in the car.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So <em>God made a dog</em>.</div>
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<br />
Between not feeling like blogging and life itself, I've just been remiss. However, I am published again. Check out my article in Bonnie Magazine. It's a local "town" magazine.<br />
<br />
You can also see it online at readbonnie.com.<br />
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<br />
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<script type="text/javascript">var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www.");document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E"));</script><script type="text/javascript">var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker("UA-5223156-1");pageTracker._trackPageview();</script>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12197340334699196246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128978925707271.post-21167885225186374682013-04-22T09:38:00.002-06:002013-04-22T09:38:36.485-06:00My Little SpyHe could do this all day.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq0c90EluNypVw7QkZsQCYhQckDnGahb-PdnzOX_Xsg4XQAbMs82ul6mxMUG29K4uano90jufcz3sWFnm51-w4wumcRJQx830pgCSHnW-THXTz0OzM6JDlDk2Li6WoBUARDBUGx__xSzc/s1600/fly.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq0c90EluNypVw7QkZsQCYhQckDnGahb-PdnzOX_Xsg4XQAbMs82ul6mxMUG29K4uano90jufcz3sWFnm51-w4wumcRJQx830pgCSHnW-THXTz0OzM6JDlDk2Li6WoBUARDBUGx__xSzc/s640/fly.JPG" width="270" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black;">Didn't you know that housework is waaaaaay more important than you are?</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black;">She has the "early morning dumps", or rather, she DOESN'T have the early morning dumps or her hubby wouldn't be handing her a laxative. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black;">A "sparkling, refreshing glass of Sal-Hepatica"!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black;">Taken first thing in the morning, usually works within an hour (imagine the stomach cramps during that 60 minutes!) and you're on your feet teaching your daughter the proper way to clean! (Although she's holding the broom at "poke you in the gut" fashion, which kind of matches her daughter's "beat you over the head" stance.)</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black;">Never let your husband or your housework down again. Every morning, jump up and have a sparkling glass of Hepatica and your "early morning dumps" will run smoothly.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black;">Run smoothly. Heh. </span></span><script type="text/javascript">
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF3QHYKIJlEADywweGAkOWiRYgXJs93rwTxxCLaSRzyzk0UYu07N2qaBT27gbJVUJT4JFM6YZF-8RordMmALiGTIKYICh77kfSRGxNkifEW9UoI823YJZfaO5w7JPj2FmpuCZ3GbhWWu0/s1600/dailypuglet_jun28f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF3QHYKIJlEADywweGAkOWiRYgXJs93rwTxxCLaSRzyzk0UYu07N2qaBT27gbJVUJT4JFM6YZF-8RordMmALiGTIKYICh77kfSRGxNkifEW9UoI823YJZfaO5w7JPj2FmpuCZ3GbhWWu0/s400/dailypuglet_jun28f.jpg" width="263" /></a></div>
<span style="color: black;">Dutch and his mom were flying to the East coast when Dutch developed <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gastric_dilatation_volvulus">bloat</a>. Fortunately, he was at the emergency vet within an hour of landing the plane and went directly into surgery.</span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: black;">Right now, he is alive and recovering, but the next 24 hours are critical. Please visit their <a href="http://dailypuglet.blogspot.com/">blog</a> and send your good thoughts to Dutch, Puglet and their mom.</span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: black;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv0F4uXgq4-RBAH9DpkCkchViJOHalP4hjIZ3gqWmqjDP914VOuUOogmhMGee7wK87xlUqmeQON2VX9PS6_XIV67GYq-TjP-ELjGhoBZWQc71xJ0KSfKwYAkRn5jQDonDYT747NcvuJLs/s1600/Jeepy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv0F4uXgq4-RBAH9DpkCkchViJOHalP4hjIZ3gqWmqjDP914VOuUOogmhMGee7wK87xlUqmeQON2VX9PS6_XIV67GYq-TjP-ELjGhoBZWQc71xJ0KSfKwYAkRn5jQDonDYT747NcvuJLs/s400/Jeepy.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">As
if I weren't depressed enough - </span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">I'm going home from work and watch some
asshole run right over the back of a duck crossing the street with two
other males and a female. </span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<span style="font-size: medium;">
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"> I'm trying to pull over to pick it up as it's laying in the street, trying to use its wings to get away. Another male duck went over to it to try to
help it. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Before I could even pull over, another asshole (who had plain
view btw) runs over it and kills it, barely missing the other one. </span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">I
haven't stopped crying. Yes, it's "just a duck", but you watch that
happen. If only I could have gotten there faster.</span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: medium; font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><span style="font-size: medium;">My life is at such a stand-still right now, I'm barely keeping my sanity above water. I just want to go find a hole and crawl in it. </span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: medium; font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><span style="font-size: medium;">Godspeed little duck. At least you didn't suffer long. </span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFDIQAxLi1BpPbQmZX5KNIVEMsm1gu3DqgOMGF4TtflwPTv6FtY6rtznZOmu3QhHMJc3JnK1u0vTv9BxQYT3ozowoNBvyEqbKTzc0GmDna4gPJsLviYG4HwYhXt4EFVfrWotYS8EiNKW8/s1600/warning-natural-distrust-others-april-fools-day-ecard-someecards.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="355" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFDIQAxLi1BpPbQmZX5KNIVEMsm1gu3DqgOMGF4TtflwPTv6FtY6rtznZOmu3QhHMJc3JnK1u0vTv9BxQYT3ozowoNBvyEqbKTzc0GmDna4gPJsLviYG4HwYhXt4EFVfrWotYS8EiNKW8/s640/warning-natural-distrust-others-april-fools-day-ecard-someecards.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPntHENHliqGdmaSvXEh2MVkhH2YiBDbcZ9H7HiTzqc9jpKyIdcZNXvibgFs1Y2rq_1P1Io6VAphoQomfwAkaEsGNJ1ayTfYZuaFsUuyrOBkJiQXlM0fDpkVud1JGeQ-mKDig7LV4gXX0/s1600/easter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="449" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPntHENHliqGdmaSvXEh2MVkhH2YiBDbcZ9H7HiTzqc9jpKyIdcZNXvibgFs1Y2rq_1P1Io6VAphoQomfwAkaEsGNJ1ayTfYZuaFsUuyrOBkJiQXlM0fDpkVud1JGeQ-mKDig7LV4gXX0/s640/easter.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
I have ALWAYS appreciated Puddles and Pip for the good times they bring us in this crazy, not so nice world.<br />
<br />
We've watched them doing what they do best: <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHCcMwUuRJRnUYObmR04xDWRKakmw95pq9CO5CHhGVs3_iJ21ElvWHkntmmck-rIOI80NPI00_a-_bOytNVqWBkZoqCTt0Fao8H9dJQdlfVO612CNOhC5xwUfL3bZjmCJXgae2yvGyFx8/s1600/pudpip.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHCcMwUuRJRnUYObmR04xDWRKakmw95pq9CO5CHhGVs3_iJ21ElvWHkntmmck-rIOI80NPI00_a-_bOytNVqWBkZoqCTt0Fao8H9dJQdlfVO612CNOhC5xwUfL3bZjmCJXgae2yvGyFx8/s400/pudpip.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Getting stoned</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMlTpVxAJzQfDt3RHdyJ7gQEJeb6ze-s9_jsWfkPeWv3eVLJtX8__GOVdPA2U3lh8ubhrcrZlwYBqhaC06dE3tJjazttVT9p2lxBjcg7B4BC9hKvYloVPgJ6DlQD59O7afLaDCK5atl8g/s1600/puddles+and+pip+arrive+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMlTpVxAJzQfDt3RHdyJ7gQEJeb6ze-s9_jsWfkPeWv3eVLJtX8__GOVdPA2U3lh8ubhrcrZlwYBqhaC06dE3tJjazttVT9p2lxBjcg7B4BC9hKvYloVPgJ6DlQD59O7afLaDCK5atl8g/s400/puddles+and+pip+arrive+.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Traveling</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT-KT_erK7xyxwNRPUSZTNEpnmypT42gpkQavFPa5KGb_jHSupYHcnEQ_764BvAe-xzMWM4ltY1c7Rszu8EFy02zya8ulKtkphgi-i7obyVfIHsj738STpdq9Yjo_1dtQ9QzTV95L5X3o/s1600/thunderbird.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT-KT_erK7xyxwNRPUSZTNEpnmypT42gpkQavFPa5KGb_jHSupYHcnEQ_764BvAe-xzMWM4ltY1c7Rszu8EFy02zya8ulKtkphgi-i7obyVfIHsj738STpdq9Yjo_1dtQ9QzTV95L5X3o/s400/thunderbird.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stealing cars</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLvaFSZbFzmfq-UoWYFI_CfxSBH5LUcM-jbx2rWPjqgioQKU8xTgzTQNknEHiUwkSZdmD9_tRItSjX4QLxbQ8VtPVZ_wtPrimjG8zQMBRI_9H5BPlxhiAVB-an01CJQXjZcLUZkiNixRk/s1600/team+puddles2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLvaFSZbFzmfq-UoWYFI_CfxSBH5LUcM-jbx2rWPjqgioQKU8xTgzTQNknEHiUwkSZdmD9_tRItSjX4QLxbQ8VtPVZ_wtPrimjG8zQMBRI_9H5BPlxhiAVB-an01CJQXjZcLUZkiNixRk/s400/team+puddles2.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spreading joy, not hate</td></tr>
</tbody></table> Don't stop. We love you! <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKrgW1GPhNkBkt61Sndj5Un49TXhyphenhyphenJaaDcXYwpiZJLE2RIEntmPoB264n21YkteRPLl96DYsnDhgJG1QIiP1i8JvUs27ru8gVE9hp5Mrtt7dWCj62dbsX7mUoeU0uCczCGWUoeSjbqgmE/s1600/Pip+sky.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKrgW1GPhNkBkt61Sndj5Un49TXhyphenhyphenJaaDcXYwpiZJLE2RIEntmPoB264n21YkteRPLl96DYsnDhgJG1QIiP1i8JvUs27ru8gVE9hp5Mrtt7dWCj62dbsX7mUoeU0uCczCGWUoeSjbqgmE/s400/Pip+sky.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shining on</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWqdXwm4C6B99r6RK0VzINFr9NzcNtTHl7sGF8MDONYT4iCMshqBfSG4Gcg8HNSMTiv_O8XLYAgD8U7ql3sNUFsjqkeGr_7OTacf4r4LNKWF4K_HwK0tLlXoAxyFr5ks5U582SeSOVQMg/s1600/mark+eden.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWqdXwm4C6B99r6RK0VzINFr9NzcNtTHl7sGF8MDONYT4iCMshqBfSG4Gcg8HNSMTiv_O8XLYAgD8U7ql3sNUFsjqkeGr_7OTacf4r4LNKWF4K_HwK0tLlXoAxyFr5ks5U582SeSOVQMg/s400/mark+eden.jpg" width="282" /></a>If you weren't already feeling let down by what nature gave you, these ads would surely send you to the med cabinet in search of something to take away the pain.<br />
<br />
There were boobie creams and suction devices and all sorts of wonderous bosom enhancing devices on the market. <br />
<br />
Of course, they all worked, seeing all the ample chested girls today, right?<br />
<br />
If you look closely at the ad, however, you are increasing your girth, not your assets. From a 34A to a 37A just means it's harder to buy a bra. Trust me, you don't want that band number increasing. You get into some interesting "bullet proof vest" looking bras. They scare my dogs, and double for hats during the winter.<br />
<br />
If you have a tiny chest (lucky you!), just remember what mama told you. Chest out, shoulders back! Don't slouch!<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7YukM_eYiIIxFD1fJSU-j3V2OPfomXMQlqymQZgVuHcbUURFYdrFiLN-XMa-PJT1rvoQNwpgYnb9Z5PkrkLBrrd3AM0NZUBlyFGC7luqjxaBjKnZDBM7B0A9riTk24YuGP2Vqiw45528/s1600/chestoutarmsback.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="144" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7YukM_eYiIIxFD1fJSU-j3V2OPfomXMQlqymQZgVuHcbUURFYdrFiLN-XMa-PJT1rvoQNwpgYnb9Z5PkrkLBrrd3AM0NZUBlyFGC7luqjxaBjKnZDBM7B0A9riTk24YuGP2Vqiw45528/s640/chestoutarmsback.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Quit slouching!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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And be damned grateful your cha cha's are tiny and not hanging down near your belly button.<br />
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Because they will, they will.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb-4xIn1hCqPk2QZ_khR1JmH-roh94by_Oiq8mS9ZB8y-SeqX1K4S82Q15oF6P_0NZObeZUHOUKRXYEqDxfNL92R7S4SMM-PnqWEn4sJtIrkDiPRQ2bAbbZiObygd58XfVUWjTRWWJRVg/s640/blogger-image-1449135599.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb-4xIn1hCqPk2QZ_khR1JmH-roh94by_Oiq8mS9ZB8y-SeqX1K4S82Q15oF6P_0NZObeZUHOUKRXYEqDxfNL92R7S4SMM-PnqWEn4sJtIrkDiPRQ2bAbbZiObygd58XfVUWjTRWWJRVg/s640/blogger-image-1449135599.jpg" /></a>Yesterday, after becoming weak and listless, Brain's head swelled from the fluid build up and he died en route to the vet. <br />
<br />
Brain was an awesome little dude and will be very missed. He knew true love for almost two years. Godspeed. <br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1813585350"><br /></a>
<a href="http://m.facebook.com/pages/Baby-Brain/279255642087754?id=279255642087754&refsrc=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fpages%2FBaby-Brain%2F279255642087754&_rdr">http://m.facebook.com/pages/Baby-Brain/279255642087754?id=279255642087754&refsrc=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fpages%2FBaby-Brain%2F279255642087754&_rdr</a><br />
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Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12197340334699196246noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128978925707271.post-44339447120046516992013-02-28T13:03:00.001-07:002013-02-28T13:03:29.804-07:00Who's a Good Boyfriend! Yes You Are! Yes You Are!<iframe frameborder="0" height="351" scrolling="no" src="http://screen.yahoo.com/surprise-pug-puppy-011551318.html?format=embed&player_autoplay=false" width="624"></iframe><script type="text/javascript">
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<br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMrR73vC77smP3bWLKJhkYLFF9Pet1Y-yCjamJcxVAjWC5jtiY2WiIy2BsGp0Mkvx12qBpvH8WdNoZItorXjhlEsFIIrLHNFVnq-ainh5maymWgC76_vrwrDsGaO3g760PSs_FGR7sncw/s640/blogger-image-236545855.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMrR73vC77smP3bWLKJhkYLFF9Pet1Y-yCjamJcxVAjWC5jtiY2WiIy2BsGp0Mkvx12qBpvH8WdNoZItorXjhlEsFIIrLHNFVnq-ainh5maymWgC76_vrwrDsGaO3g760PSs_FGR7sncw/s640/blogger-image-236545855.jpg" /></a></div>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12197340334699196246noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1128978925707271.post-38408022519422351562013-02-18T13:10:00.004-07:002013-02-18T13:10:56.463-07:00Happy President's Day!Celebrate with a hatchet!!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY_kOo7Z4vDIZUfAQCueyYXQfvlXA3tVXvFipD1rwNizQpxJH51GPMqWmcYU7iyjoLRmiK6IzfZYfarww-mymbXYD_oiq7-NFvcEmwGkr49NcXkVC9on62b_gTDiKYb_qOUvLiabQ413s/s1600/sweat+eats+nylons.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY_kOo7Z4vDIZUfAQCueyYXQfvlXA3tVXvFipD1rwNizQpxJH51GPMqWmcYU7iyjoLRmiK6IzfZYfarww-mymbXYD_oiq7-NFvcEmwGkr49NcXkVC9on62b_gTDiKYb_qOUvLiabQ413s/s640/sweat+eats+nylons.JPG" width="296" /></a></div>
Little did I know that as I sweated nervously in those interviews, my stockings were being eaten by my own "acid perspiration".<br />
<br />
<b>I KNOW!!!</b><br />
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Had I been armed with this knowledge earlier in life, I could have save myself a ton of nylons! I mean, WHO KNEW??? I would have sprayed my legs with antiperspirant; I would have swished them in the sink immediately after I pulled them off...I would have treated them with the respect I now know I didn't. And according to Ivory Snow, it would have only taken me THREE seconds to do this!!<br />
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I'm so ashamed.<br />
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Take my advice and save yourself from needless stocking murder. Wash your unmentionables RIGHT NOW!!<br />
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