What Women Want For Christmas

I know that every morning I wake up with one wish.

A portable hair dryer.

I mean, what else could a woman want?  This one has a nail dryer, a place to put your perfume so it gets in your hair as it dries (sorry, I find that weird) and a little tray to hold important accessories.  So suddenly, it’s not so portable any more. 

But is it better than…

Nylons and Santa leering at you while you untangle your dress from the tree (in stillettos…on a ladder)?

Men made this ad, didn’t they?  You know that no women would buy nylons because of this ad, but lots of men would.

Considering that in no way I would look like that from behind, I fear the man that buys me these nylons will be woefully disappointed.

But then, if he buys me nylons, then I’ll have to resume using this…

a Norelco electric razor.

The last time I wanted an electric razor, I was 16 and thought it was the coolest gift in the universe. 

Until I got one.

What a pain. Charging them, you can’t use them in the tub, and they don’t shave your legs very nicely.  And they yank hair out of your arm pits.  And I know no man that prefers an electric over a manual razor.  Plus a snowperson couple is freaky. Come summer, they die.  How romantic.

I think we should just resort to the old Christmas standby…

BOOZE!

I think if any woman wrapped herself in paper and presented a bottle to “her man”, it would go over better than almost any present.

Unless you’ve been together a while.  Then he’ll just tell you to put your clothes on and hand him the bottle.  Ah, romance….(here’s some trivia for you – that’s Paul Anka’s first wife.  He left her after 30+ years for a new model…and she still looks like that!  I’ve hated Anka ever since).

So, what are your last minute Christmas wishes for Santa?