Wednesday, December 22, 2010

What Women Want For Christmas

westinghouse

I know that every morning I wake up with one wish.

A portable hair dryer.

I mean, what else could a woman want?  This one has a nail dryer, a place to put your perfume so it gets in your hair as it dries (sorry, I find that weird) and a little tray to hold important accessories.  So suddenly, it’s not so portable any more. 

But is it better than…

NYLONS

Nylons and Santa leering at you while you untangle your dress from the tree (in stillettos…on a ladder)?

Men made this ad, didn’t they?  You know that no women would buy nylons because of this ad, but lots of men would.

Considering that in no way I would look like that from behind, I fear the man that buys me these nylons will be woefully disappointed.

But then, if he buys me nylons, then I’ll have to resume using this…

norelco christmasa Norelco electric razor.

The last time I wanted an electric razor, I was 16 and thought it was the coolest gift in the universe. 

Until I got one.

What a pain. Charging them, you can’t use them in the tub, and they don’t shave your legs very nicely.  And they yank hair out of your arm pits.  And I know no man that prefers an electric over a manual razor.  Plus a snowperson couple is freaky. Come summer, they die.  How romantic.

I think we should just resort to the old Christmas standby…

smirnoff BOOZE!

I think if any woman wrapped herself in paper and presented a bottle to “her man”, it would go over better than almost any present.

Unless you’ve been together a while.  Then he’ll just tell you to put your clothes on and hand him the bottle.  Ah, romance….(here’s some trivia for you – that’s Paul Anka’s first wife.  He left her after 30+ years for a new model…and she still looks like that!  I’ve hated Anka ever since).

So, what are your last minute Christmas wishes for Santa?

14 comments:

Benny and Lily said...

being that mom is as old as the pyramids, she remembers some of this stuff
Not naughty, but nice,
Benny & Lily

Mogley G. Retriever said...

Shopping for a dog is easy. Anything to eat or chew on.

Humans are more difficult, they want things that they have to dust. As a dog I have never understood that, humans hate to dust things, but that is what they want.... It would be a lot easier if they did not have things that need dusting, but apparently they like the challenge.

Mogley G. Retriever

3 doxies said...

I'll take da booze! You knew I was gonna say dat didn't you?

Can you fit beer in dat portable hairdryer?

Puddles

1950's_atomic_ranch_house said...

Hahhahaha!!!

Last minute gifts from Santa?

Please make it so that evil relative of mine NEVER bothers me again. Santa knows what I am talking about. Maybe Santa can make his reindeer land on him?

Oh and peace on earth and all that jazz lol...

just call me jo said...

I had the hair dryer, the electric razor, missed out on seams in stockings (Thank heavens), but remember when there were no pantyhose. I'm older than dirt.

Samantha said...

OMD! I had one of those hair dryers! Those are all too funny, but only because of your excellent editing (witty) skills ha ha! And now I hate P.A. too - and her for still looking that way, dang! Thanks for the giggles!
xo
Sam, Ava and Mom

Midcenturymadam said...

What's on my wish list? Hair that's good to go when you jump out of bed, no wash, no dry routine. Hell, just being able to "jump" out of bed would be good too! Ah hell, just pass me the booze.

Also on my wish list....another year of great posts from you. Keep 'em coming girl!

Wyatt said...

Gosh, I'm way too young to remember any of that stuff...LOL.
That's a bad bad santa...no eggnog for him!

Wyatt's Mom

lifeinredshoes said...

I also had a similar hair dryer, damn brush rollers.
A learing Santa..PERVERT!
Booze...no thanks.
10 straight hours of good sleep...oh yeah!

Merry Christmas, and how sweet of your friend to remember you:)

giantspeckledchihuahua said...

Love the retro ads!

I'm always hoping someone will leave an RV in my driveway. I have a very specific list of requirements, so if you'r volunteering let me know and I'll see you get the list!

Lidian said...

I'd actually like some of those retro things I see in old ads - like old ornaments. Not the hairdryer so much, though that'd be worth a bundle now, I'm sure.

Have a wonderful holiday, Barbara!

xx Lidian

Mack said...

My mom was literally laughing out loud at this!

Mom says all she wants in the world is some rest! (Humans - I do not get them)

Sugars,
mack

Dolores said...

Oh my, I hate to admit that I had a portable hair dryer just like the one pictured, but I don't remember using it.
David gave me a little blue electric razor on our 1st Christmas together..... woo/hoo... don't remember using it either.

I'd like to get a Kindle reader....I 'might' buy one after Christmas.
Hugs,

STEPcoach said...

Yeah, a man or group of men probably drew up the hosiery ad, but I'll be women bought the stockings because of how their men appreciated them. Ladies still do that sort of thing today - they just won't admit it. Love your blog!

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