The Incontinent Dog

My dog has a secret. She pees when she sleeps. Not all of the time, but on the days she does, it's all day, all night. It's unpredictable, kind of like us humans, but it's terribly annoying.

I'm thinking doggy diapers, but then, she'd chew them off and I'll be god damned if I'm going to be changing diapers on a dog. The vet says this is "perfectly normal" for a female dog that's been fixed. Normal? I've never had a dog become incontinent after getting fixed!! Who the hell are these people? Are there secret factions of our country that dress their dogs in diapers? Whose houses smell like nursing homes? WHY DO I NOT KNOW OF THESE PEOPLE??

Well, I'm off to wash the bedcovers, again...