Then bring me a child!!
My attempts at remembering crochet have been pathetic. Today I bought a kit designed for 8 year old kids and up. I figured that the instructions had to be written for a child - so maybe I could understand them.
Obviously, I'm in the wrong age group.
I've crocheted and ripped out more than I've produced. One row is two double crochets in each stitch, the next one. However, they don't say which stitch. I'll be hobbling along and think, this isn't right and tear it all out.
I'm going to keep plugging along - I'll post whatever is done in an hour or so. But this is embarrassing. Really. I suck at this.