I got some really thoughtful responses to my last post, and I thank you.
It's getting better, sort of. I've never been much of a holiday person; I'm much too sentimental for my crowd.
I have to laugh - after posting that no one wants to acknowledge Dad much anymore, something happened on Thanksgiving Day that made me reevaluate.
Mom and I did a little shopping and on our way back passed the mortuary where dad was cremated. She pointed to it and said off-handedly "Oh, on the 14th they are having a memorial for all the dead people and I signed us up to attend."
Trying to keep my surprise level down, I asked her why she did that. She said that since we didn't have a funeral for dad we should at least attend a memorial. I said okay. Have no idea if my brothers are attending, or if she's even told them. I think she's finally missing my father, or finally grieving. She acted tough all this time, but I knew eventually this day would come, although not in this way.
So, in the midst of gearing myself up mentally for the holidays, now I have to speed ramp myself up to revisit my fathers death. This will either be cathartic or disabling. We shall see.