Friday, April 23, 2010

Are Your Undies Talking Behind Your Back?

underalls

You know it’s nothing as tame as “sloppy” or “messy”.

You know your panties are crying out to be heard!  “Can’t you buy a bigger size pair of jeans?”  “Have you ever looked at your ass in a mirror?” “Do you really need that donut?”

Oh no, panties are not kind.  Have you ever had them sneak up (you know, Indian Drawers)?  That’s because they’re unable to scream, so they sneak into your crevices until you scream yourself, running behind barriers to pull them out of God knows where.

No more.  A pair of granny-panty pantyhose is just what you need!!  Nothing says “I can’t breathe” better than pantyhose and pants, and these would look so nice with the new low-rise jeans, now wouldn’t they?

And all from Sears - “The Fashion Place”.  (Anyone who grew up in the 70s knows better.  Sears was a step up from Gemco (that’s the predecessor to WalMart for you yungin’s). Many a young life was scarred by Sears Toughskin jeans and lime and maroon colored dresses.

So, the lesson is, learn what your panties are saying behind your back and then do what I do.  Go without.

Have a nice weekend with that image in your head.

3 comments:

Midcenturymadam said...

Nothing like giving yourself a mono butt with tight pantyhose and polyester pants. Two cheeks are definitely better than one ladies. Throw those spanks away! Free that junk in your trunk!

Vintage Christine said...

I remember those things--they were great for sweating off a few extra pounds! Just the thing for us gals who don't like to exercise--just trying to yank on a pair of "Nothing Else" in 100% humidity starts the workout, believe me.

Chickens in the Basement said...

I'd rather go without than have a thong up the crack of my ass! And as for those low cut jeans, that role of fat under my belly button is quite attractive hanging over my belt! Who's that sexy girl?

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