Friday, August 20, 2010

Honey, It’s Your Armpit Hair…

underarm hair bo

Poor Yvonne.  She was unpopular and no one would tell her why.  Finally, one day, out of the blue, her “special” friend Mary Margaret Conchita Lupita Marie Sarah Bon-Voula, said,

“I, myself, had a heavy growth of disgusting hair.”

Yvonne jerked her head in Mary Margaret’s direction and said Wha?”

Undaunted, Mary Margaret continued.  “I tried depilatory pastes, evil smelling powders and painful electric treatments…even a RAZOR.”

“Um…okay, and you’re telling me this because?” said Yvonne.

Well, you moan and cry about being unpopular, and you don’t seem to understand that you have B.O. because you never do anything about all that hair in your armpits!!”

“Oh.”

Now VEET has Wenlo-White, which bleaches out your armpits and dissolves the hair.  Not only will you have lily-white skin on your face, but your armpits will match!”

“Now my skin is so clean and white that no one could possible suspect I was EVER afflicted with that horrible, superfluous hair!!  Because no one else HAS it Yvonne!  It was just us!  It could possibly be because our mothers married their brothers, but let’s not talk about that now.  Come, join me in the powder room and we’ll burn your pits.”

“Maybe we can sell the hair?” said Yvonne.

“Yes dear, maybe we can.  Now, about your breath…”

16 comments:

one gal's trash said...

Barbara...a Datsun 210? Perfect. You inspired me to ask readers to comment about their first cars...thanks!
xo
Pam

1950's_atomic_ranch_house said...

In Jr High, there was this one covered hallway. The guys used to walk down that hallway and yell: BBBBBeeeee Ooooooohhh because the hall smelled like someones butt lol... ick...

Dolores said...

Barbara.... where in the world do you come up with all these cute and creative ideas?........ You are a HOOT!!! but..... I love your posts....
hugs,

Barbara said...

One Gal: Yep, I had two - a 1978 and a 1980...

1950s: Oh thanks, now BeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO is running thru my head like a foghorn.

Dolores: I have no idea where in this twisted mind those ideas come from!!

~Kim at Golden Pines~ said...

Your post are always good for a grin!! At the start of my day, I need that!!
However, I'm wondering if women in Europe shave...They didn't used too...I don't want to think about it, it's only about 6 in the morning!!

Leah said...

Thank goodness for good friends willing to bleach your armpits!

Jabacue said...

This is hilarious Barbara! Great ad discovery. You sure have a way with words!
Jim

sophie said...

OK...now stop projectile laughing Daddy Ron...aaah..the not-so sweet scent of classroom body odor!

3 doxies said...

Bwhahahahahahahaha...Oh my god, you are a riot!!!!!!!
This was will keep me laughing for days.
I remember my high school smelling like that...maybe I went to school with 1950s.

Allison...Puddles mum

lifeinredshoes said...

Oh my, I have a story to share.
I have a good friend who is also a stylist, and in her younger days she worked in a salon downtown. Said salon advertised that they would human hair for wigs. One day a woman came with a pillowcase full of hair to sell....armpit hair!!!!!!!
True story.

It's OK, we can all be excused to vomit.

Vintage Christine said...

Hahahahahahshahaha!!!!!! You kill me, girl!!!!!!

Maggie and Mitch said...

HAHA - thank you the early morning smiles!

Chickens in the Basement said...

Hey Old Friend!

I have missed your sense of humor! Very funny post!

Hope you're well!
Anna

Barbara said...

Well, where have you been Anna??? We miss you too!

cathycan said...

"even a RAZOR!"
To go to such lengths!!Can you imagine!

Tweedles -- that's me said...

Oh my
someone is thinking wayyyyyyyyy
to much!
tee hee hee
love
tweedles

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