Amphetamines!!

Are you ashamed of your body? Of course you are!  You’re our target audience!

Why diet alone, when you can diet with a tremor?  Our pills will give you that extra energy you need to burn off those pesky pounds.  Don’t worry about sleep, having a perfect body with dark circles under your eyes is preferable to being fat!  It’s true!  Look at Lindsay Lohan!

We’ve made them “extra-strong” so you don’t have to do anything else.  Just jitter. Fold some bags or something, you’re losing weight by just swallowing this pill!  Really!  Would we lie?  Of course we wouldn’t!

Dexatrim – your miracle in a pill!