According to this ad, men who smoke cigars are tender, affectionate and appreciative, as opposed to cigarette smokers, who are mean, snarky and inconsiderate.
Cigar smokers “start young and stay young”, diametrically opposed to the cigarette smoker, who tends to die early of lung cancer. (We won’t mention all the mouth cancers cigar smokers get.)
Girls with “long range” plans tend to look at cigar smokers. Reason? If you have money to shell out for a good cigar, chances are you’re dumb enough to spend your other dollars on a woman. Remember men, watch out for women with “psycho-eyes”. They may hold your ashtray, but they’ll cut you in the end.
And don’t forget, you don’t have to inhale to enjoy a cigar. That may come in handy if you ever plan on running for office.