Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Recipes for the Stupid, Part 2

banana

Okay, how did that “salad” work out for you?  Were you successful?  If so, hang on, because…

We’re moving to FRUIT!

This is an exotic, tropical dish called “Banana Scallops”. It comes straight from whatever country that makes bananas, but that’s not important unless you’re trying to impress the boss.

Once again, you’re going to have to go to that store and ask the grocer to give you bananas, corn flakes and a few eggs.  If you know someone with a chicken, maybe you can trade a banana or two for an egg or two.

The Wesson oil you bought yesterday will come in handy with this recipe.  Are your ready?

Peel the banana (have the grocer show you how).  Get the hubby’s bowie knife and hack the banana into bite-sized pieces (see yesterday for instructions).  Now, break the egg into a bowl and beat it up with a fork.  Then, pour out a couple of handfuls of corn flakes and mash ‘em up with your rolling pin, your empty beer bottle or put them in a bag and sit on them.

Now, heat up a panful of Wesson oil until you can put a piece of bread in and it fries up brown.  If it turns black right away, the oil’s too hot.  Take a log off the fire.

Here’s the hard part.  Take a piece of banana, dip it in the egg, then roll it in the corn flake crumbs.  Put it in the hot oil.  When it looks done, take it out.  Repeat.

CAUTION: Don’t eat them straight out of the pan unless you have medical insurance.

Don’t forget to turn off the stove when you’re done!

Once you get this recipe perfected, you can make bananas all different ways…covered in oatmeal, wrapped in bologna, or Banana Kabobs.  But that will come with practice.

Stay tuned for more recipes!

personal note:  last night while visiting my mother, a cat sidled up to me outside.  I reached down and petted it.  It purred and wrapped itself around my legs.  Then it grabbed my arm and bit the crap out of it.  Mom insisted I email the doc, and now I have to take antibiotics for five days, meaning another trip to my favorite place…Kaiser!!

Will the madness never end? :)

11 comments:

Mogley G. Retriever said...

I think I am going to take up a collection and buy you some new magazines.
If nothing else, could you move slow in the check out line next time you go to the grocery store, read some of the magazines on the rack?
You apparently have been snow-bound in a remote mountain cabin with nothing to read but old magazines. We hope that a rescue team arrives soon to take you back to civilzation. We will send a St. Bernard with a brandy keg ahead, just in case.

Mogley G. Retriever

houndstooth said...

More fodder for my hopeless stepsisters in law! I'll never be able to look at them without thinking of these posts!

Tweedles -- that's me said...

Oh nooo! Not a cat bite!
More trips to Kaiser
JEEPERS!!!!
Cat bites can make you so sick my friend!! get well soon
love
tweedles

Maggie and Mitch said...

Crunchy bananas! Those sound pretty good to us!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

1950's_atomic_ranch_house said...

Cats are the most loving friends... Unless you pet them in a way they don't like lol had my share of cat bites/scratches over the years, but I wouldn't trade my cats for anything!!

Levi Mac said...

hmmm....crunchy fried bananas....I gotsa think about dis one!

bbes tribe said...

How old are those magazines? Crunchy fried bananas - doesn't sound too bad. Bananas come chocolate covered (which we can't have) & peanut butter on them which we can have.. OR we actually like them plain.
Wags
Ernie,Sasha,Chica

Mack said...

I don't like bananas or corn flakes, but this recipe sounds deelishuz!
And be careful of evil kittehs! they're....EVIL!

3 doxies said...

Oh Oh...I's can do dis! I has empty beer bottles!!!!! But, I don't has naners or corn flakes.
My mum had to go buy a rolling pin da other day cuz my girl wanted to make cookies.

Evil Kitteh!!!!!!

Puddles

Vintage Christine said...

See, now everyone was so upset to hear about Elvis' deep fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches, which I personally think sound heavenly--and here we have proof that DFPBB sammies weren't just an Elvis aberration! Banana scallops? Yummo!!! Sorry to hear about the cat attack--they can be so mean, even when you're trying to be nice.

Dolores said...

Bless your heart! Trying to be sweet and pet the cat, and it bites you. Cats are unpredictable.....
Glad you're on anti-bios.... you don't need a big hairy infection.
Hugs,

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