I Want Something Different
I’m tired.
I’m tired of wind, of rain. I want some nice warm sunny days to plant flowers, to watch Minnie run in the sprinklers. I want to stop wearing sweaters.
I want to travel. I want to see Paris. I want to go to Canada. I want to travel Route 66.
I want to stop picking up prescriptions, talking to doctors, worrying about the next dollar, fearing the next steps in my life.
I want Father’s Day ads to not show on my television. I want to stop fiercely missing my father and fearing my mother going “to the bridge”. I fear my life after that.
I’m tired of dull days. I’m tired of pretending everything is okay on days that they aren’t. I’m tired of judgment.
I am tired of responsibility. I yearn to run free and be selfish.
I am tired.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be better.
Comments
Some days just suck, but then there's tomorrow and I pray it will be better!
Too much rainy weather is hard on the mind..... and too little is hard on the mind....... We're in a BIG DROUGHT, however.... I don't want too much rain.
Thinking of you sweet friend with thoughts and prayers.
I can relate with some of what you're feeling. I miss my grandmother like crazy. She was more of a maternal figure than my mom, who only remembers I exist at Christmas and Mother's Day, and she died on Mother's Day. The beginning of May is always rather dismal for me, no matter what I do.
Be kind to yourself! Take a walk in the rain if the sun won't shine. Enjoy something that makes you happy, like a peanut butter and chocolate sandwich. Call in sick and curl up in bed with a good book one day. Never underestimate the power of a day spent playing hooky!
(((hugs)))
-Lisa and the rotties
Love on you, babe.
Laura
You are so brave,,, brave to share your feelings with us.... all of us who care.
You are always here for each one of us,, and those around you,,
oh how I wish you knew that we are there for you.
Sometimes when your skys are gray, its best to sit under the branches of a fir tree with a friend..
Together we can sit shoulder to shoulder, and we can wish for some blue skys for you. I will wish on stars that a special touch comes your way.... I understand how you feel. Tomorrow will be better.
i love you
tweedles
Just remember..."Dis too shall pass"...yea whatevers! But anyways, we is heres fur you no matters what and I can makes you laugh...or I can be a shoulder too if you needs it.
I sooooooo wished you was my Neighbor...it's be nice to haves a good neighbor:)
Puddles
Anyway, glad today is better and I'm so sorry you're missing your dad with all the Father's Day stuff floating around. Keep on keepin' on! (I know, that sounds totally lame, fake, and useless...but still).
Elyse (and Riley)
Does that mean no Paris?