I Want Something Different
I’m tired of wind, of rain. I want some nice warm sunny days to plant flowers, to watch Minnie run in the sprinklers. I want to stop wearing sweaters.
I want to travel. I want to see Paris. I want to go to Canada. I want to travel Route 66.
I want to stop picking up prescriptions, talking to doctors, worrying about the next dollar, fearing the next steps in my life.
I want Father’s Day ads to not show on my television. I want to stop fiercely missing my father and fearing my mother going “to the bridge”. I fear my life after that.
I’m tired of dull days. I’m tired of pretending everything is okay on days that they aren’t. I’m tired of judgment.
I am tired of responsibility. I yearn to run free and be selfish.
I am tired.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be better.