|You too can be a Blonde American (unless you live elsewhere, then you're just a pretender)!!|
A revolutionary new blonding system can transport you to the blonde of your dreams!
Wanna be an uppity sophisticate? Try Manhattan Lights Blonde. The lights of Broadway will glisten off your mane. Gay men will fall at your feet, and you may get to be a bitchy magazine editor who requires models to be anorexic to be in her book.
How about that San Francisco Token Blonde Woman Newscaster look? This blonde comes with a newscast script, a bottle of Valium and a one-way ticket to a 500 watt station in Iowa once your SF career is over.
Are you coy? Do you like giving that "come-hither" look? Well then, Nantucket Blonde is for you. Just cut them off when they start that "there was a woman from Nantucket, who did strange things with her bucket" comments...Comes with a fishing license and lobster boat.
Going for that wholesome, golly gee gosh, ride that tractor look? Kansas Blonde is for you, cowgirl. Comes with a wheat field on 40 acres, a grissled camp cook named Sparky and 17 cows. Men can be found at the local general store.
However, if you want to be the ONLY blonde that matters, you must try Los Angeles Wannabe Movie Star But Will End Up in The Porn Field Blonde. This shade requires lots of maintenance, several visits to the Playboy Mansion and a lifetime of heartache.
So, which blonde will YOU be?
Hey....we are featured on Coffee with a Canine....check us out.
Oh, and we were interviewed before we found Jeep!