Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Is Your Life Dull? Be A Blonde American!

You too can be a Blonde American (unless you live elsewhere, then you're just a pretender)!!

A revolutionary new blonding system can transport you to the blonde of your dreams! 

Wanna be an uppity sophisticate?  Try Manhattan Lights Blonde. The lights of Broadway will glisten off your mane.  Gay men will fall at your feet, and you may get to be a bitchy magazine editor who requires models to be anorexic to be in her book.

How about that San Francisco Token Blonde Woman Newscaster look?  This blonde comes with a newscast script, a bottle of Valium and a one-way ticket to a 500 watt station in Iowa once your SF career is over.

Are you coy?  Do you like giving that "come-hither" look?  Well then, Nantucket Blonde is for you.  Just cut them off when they start that "there was a woman from Nantucket, who did strange things with her bucket" comments...Comes with a fishing license and lobster boat.

Going for that wholesome, golly gee gosh, ride that tractor look?  Kansas Blonde is for you, cowgirl.  Comes with a wheat field on 40 acres, a grissled camp cook named Sparky and 17 cows.  Men can be found at the local general store.

However, if you want to be the ONLY blonde that matters, you must try Los Angeles Wannabe Movie Star But Will End Up in The Porn Field Blonde. This shade requires lots of maintenance, several visits to the Playboy Mansion and a lifetime of heartache.

So, which blonde will YOU be?



Hey....we are featured on Coffee with a Canine....check us out.
Oh, and we were interviewed before we found Jeep!

16 comments:

DearHelenHartman said...

The California Blonde is the only REAL American blonde, I think. Complete with fake orange skin. Suddenly am thinking of finding a bottle of Sun In.

Eartha Kitsch said...

Wee! I want to be a Kansas blonde!

Eartha Kitsch said...

p.s. Love your Coffee With a Canine interview! Couldn't find a way to comment there but you did great!

Kim said...

Congrats on the interview! As for me, I was born a Chicago Dirty Blonde. Must be all the fresh air here ;)

Dana@Mid2Mod said...

Don't even ask about my blonde hair. I went to the salon last Tuesday, and I had a never-before allergic reaction to the hair color. My eyes were swollen almost shut till Sunday. This bubble-headed bleached blonde may go au naturel from now on. I've been bleaching/coloring my hair for almost 50 years, and now I'm afraid to ever do it again!

browndogcbr said...

Hi Y'all,

So funny! My Human is a low maintenance blond. That's brown with lots of gray. ;) I love her anyway and Papa is stuck with her. :)

We're off to read your interview!

Y'all come by now,
Hawk aka BrownDog

houndstooth said...

I think I'm glad to keep my auburn locks, thanks! I'll just be content with having less fun and people thinking I'm a tourist! :P

Amber Von Felts said...

I like the sound of Kansas blonde, men down at the general store you say? Too funny!

Dolores said...

I'm the cheap, get my hair hi-lighted every 2 or 3 months type. I've tried letting my hair grow out, and I always end up doing it again. It makes me feel 'perky'...... well, as perky as I can be.
Hugs,

Benny and Lily said...

Congrats on the interview. We were on the other day too. That ad is hilarious
Benny & Lily

sophie...^5 said...

OMG...I was at the grocery store this pm and in front of me was a blond chick with her blond dude...both from the same bottle...I was mesmerized at the "bleachness" of the blond colour and that they truly believed it was OK to display their endeavours...They probably thought I liked it...oh nooooo!

Mr. Pip said...

My mom's hair is blond (for now), but her life is still pretty dull. BOL!

Your pal, Pip

De tout, de rien said...

According to a segment on Nate Berkus this week, grey is the new blonde...!

I forgot all about Sun-In! I bought some when I was a teen and put it on every time I went to the pool, in hopes of becoming blonde...and I am a brunette. High hopes!

Tweedles -- that's me said...

I have plenty of fun,, just the way I am.... i think... or should I change?
WOW,,, your a star!
love
tweedles

Wyatt said...

How about Oregon dish water blondes, with grey highlights!!
We attract lumberjacks and earthy types...LOL!

Wyatt's Mom

Mack said...

I much prefer the Tuxedo look. But that's just me.

We will go straight away to coffee with a canine!!!

Sugars,
Mack

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