Monday, June 13, 2011

Your Lazy Panties

Do your panties do nothing?  These do.


Seriously, who wants lazy panties?  I want mine to hold back mountains of stomach and butt fat.  I want them to not stick out over my pants.  I want them to stop riding up in unfortunate situations.

I want them to be tiny, but feel like heaven.  I want them to attract men without ever showing themselves.  I want them to cure cancer, Alzheimer's and bad breath.

But instead, these panties just don't shrink, don't run (run?), don't feel clammy (WTF??) and speed dry (for those days when you just can't hold it).  AND they're granny panties!

Give me panties that DO something!  Let's start a panty revolution!!

18 comments:

Dana@Mid2Mod said...

You mean all these years I've thought something was wrong with me, and it wss my panties' fault all along. You made my day! Damned panties...

Dolores said...

You're so cute!!! I'm guilty, I wear granny panties, and love them. I can't imagine wearing thong panties....eeek!

houndstooth said...

OMG! I am laughing so hard! This may be one of my all time favorite posts of yours! Burn those lazy panties and demand some action!

Maggie and Mitch said...

Our mom just snorted her water all over the keyboard! haha

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

De tout, de rien said...

I'm all for going commando, just like my dog!

mermaid gallery said...

panties are always a dilemma....but I hate them most when they make a smiley face .....

Eartha Kitsch said...

Suspants! Are those like panties with suspenders? - because if they are, I am SO in!

(My word verification is "culkatur". Sounds like some kind of sore that one might get from panties that don't wick moisture.)

~Kim at Golden Pines~ said...

Finally something to blame my lack of energy on--It's the aura from my undies!! :-))

Sammie and Avalon said...

Not sure I even want to be "next to" these! Clammy? Ewwwwwwww. But the one thing I like about these babies? The price heheh!

greygirl25 said...

Now I know how going commando came about.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I want my panties to do their own laundry too.

Mack said...

I like going au naturale myself.....

The Thuglets said...

we often say "oh pants to that"! LOL

Big Nose POkes
The Thugletsx

Callie said...

I hear the call for a panty revolution! Panty freedom to be all they can be! Or commando is an option...

lifeinredshoes said...

SIGN ME UP!!!!

Tweedles -- that's me said...

sweet Barbara

you are tooo funny,,,,
everyday,, I wonder,, does your imagination ever run out? I do not think so,,,, thank goodness!!
too funny
love
tweedles

Suzy Myers said...

Not a big fan of clammy panties, no siree. Ha!

suzy

bettycrafter said...

Amen sister! I totally just peed in my own superhero strength panties from laughing while reading this.

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