Take a look in the mirror, Gladys.
Your husband has to look at that face EVERY DAY! For God's sake woman, do something!
You're supposed to be a magnet drawing that man home every night, but no...you've neglected your dry skin and there he is, calling again, saying "I won't be home tonight".
AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.
You need the all-in-one facial treatment that is such a new idea - scientists have been working for YEARS to create something that will fix your face. USE IT.
"Beauty in the Morning" costs less than two cents a day and will change your face almost immediately back to the look he loves. Super-duper unnamed chemicals that make your face tingle (don't mind that rash) and come alive will transform your marriage!
So chop down that telephone pole, honey - and rope that man back home. All it takes is a little "Beauty in the Morning", and a really fine lawyer.