We have lots of pineapple…just not for you.
That’s right, look at this lovely pineapple; its golden rings beckoning you with their sweet tartiness.
Ha, ha! You can’t have any! We’re only giving civilians 1/3 of our crop.
If you do get a can, don’t tell anyone. Just eat it in silence, knowing your neighbors would stab you with a fork if they knew. Pineapple is like gold in these here parts.
Until then, know that this gorgeous, juicy pineapple is not for you. At all. No way. But we’ll keep showing you pictures, okay?