Tuesday, February 28, 2012

How To Get a New Car In 5 Easy Steps

Okay, here’s the first rule.  If you look like she does, you won’t have any problems getting someone to buy you a car.

For the rest of newcargolddigger(1)us, here are the rules.

1. Long black gloves.  You’ll stand out in bars, country clubs and expensive hotels.

2. A hairstyle that can quickly be redone so those noontime trysts will be invisible to your friends.  “Me?  Oh, I just got off a double decker bus!  My hair is such a mess.”

3.  Professionally applied makeup.  At all times.  While it’s being applied, perfect your sideways, dreamy glance.  This kills them and renders them helpless.

4.  Learn to hold things.  Things that aren’t usually shiny.

5.  Sleep with older men with money.  That guy in the back?  He ain’t the salesman, honey.

And there you go.  Make sure that you pick out the car with all the bells and whistles, because this is hard work.  You only want to do it every couple of years, or 30,000 miles, whichever comes first.

Personal note:  THANK YOU so much for your generous donations, sharing of the blogs and telling your friends.  We’re halfway to a knee, and I so appreciate it.

6 comments:

Tweedles -- that's me said...

I think being a cute pug should help, but so far- it hasn't.
We love you!
love
tweedles

houndstooth said...

*sigh* Why did I have to be born smart instead of good-looking? I'd have a new car by now for sure!

Two French Bulldogs said...

Those are crazy rules
Benny & Lily

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

Funny!! Glad that you are half way there already!!

Eartha Kitsch said...

Meh, I'll just go on The Price is Right and take my chances.

Amber Von Felts said...

I think that #5 is really the key to earning a free car! That or selling a LOT OF Mary Kay!

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