Friday, August 13, 2010

Are You Fat and Jealous?

metrecal

Does just one glance at the “new fashions” make you want to stick your finger down your throat and reach for the box of laxatives?  Hit that treadmill for a few hours and then the sauna? Cut off body parts?

Well ladies, no more. 

First, pay no mind to the undergarments required to pull off this look, all right?  With those items, Metrecal and a tremendous amount of willpower, you too can look gaunt and sickly! 

Metrecal comes in 14 different flavors, which you should try, because come the turn of the century, you’ll have your choice of three, and who the hell can have willpower with only three flavors?  Besides, if you get skinny now, when the year 2000 rolls around, you can point fingers and laugh (although you’ll probably be too weak to lift your hand, but hey, you’re in the latest slim fashions so screw them, HUH!!!)  Oh snap!

If you decide not to gumption up the willpower to drink chalky liquids, please don’t sit and shoot daggers with your eyes like Ethyl back there.  You didn’t try the finger or the laxatives or the Metrecal, so you CAN’T COMPLAIN, okay? 

Good luck.  Men everywhere are counting on you to be hot.

If you develop a rash, see your doctor.  He’ll laugh and call you fat, but you might get a nice salve for your chafing thighs.

14 comments:

1950's_atomic_ranch_house said...

I prefer the scarf and barf diet ha ha ha ha.......

Oh yes, we women just do not have any life unless we are sex objects to men, and gosh knows, men only what what the magazines tell them they should want.

I'd love to see that model in the photo today. ;)

bbes tribe said...

Interesting - I'd also like to see what the model looks like today. Maybe she stocked up????
Thanks for visiting us.
Ernie,Sasha,Chica's Mom

Leah said...

Genius!!
My grandmother told me that in the 50's, each time she gave birth, the Dr. would prescribe some sort of Amphetamines to help lose the baby weight & keep energy levels up :)

Pearl said...

Dramatically underweight AND girded with metal stays I'll bet. Yow! Now THAT'S glamorous!

Pearl

Professor Chaos said...

Strange that they got such a slender woman to play the part of the envious, resentful one in the background.

Darrin.. said...

Meh.. forget the laxatives. Those old exercise machines with the big leather belts that strap around your mid-section.. and would "shake" the pounds away.. are the only way to go!

Tweedles -- that's me said...

I only weigh 11 pounds. I wonder if I am fat
love
tweedles

Maggie and Mitch said...

What does willpower mean?!

Vintage Christine said...

Ah yes I remember Metrecal. IT WAS DISGUSTING!!! I think my body put up a permanent protective shield against ALL diet aids (well, except for speed). Slimfast is a 4 star gourmet feast compared to Metrecal believe me.

Lidian said...

I don't remember Metrecal but do recall some horrid drink called Slender. It was not delicious, and I was (like the woman glaring in the ad) not overweight. But I chugged it down all the same (ugh)...this was in my mid-teens so circa 1977...

Retro-luxe said...

Reading the title of this post made me spew out my Dr. Pepper. Hi-larious.

Barbara said...

1950s: Scarf and barf works for me!

bb: Let's hope she's fat and happy!

Leah: That's my preferred method of weight loss; drugs!

Pearl: Isn't that stick figure dreamy?

Professor: Yeah, I wondered which one was unhappy...

Darrin: I haven't been able to locate one of those...

Tweedles: Anything under 12 lbs is considered too thin!!

Maggie and Mitch: Stumps me too!

Christine: If Slim Fast was better, than this stuff must have tasted like acid..

Lidian: Slender I remember. Gag.

Retro-luxe: Glad I could accommodate you! Fine print: Not responsible for keyboards or screens...

Dolores said...

I drank that yucky Metrecal, I took drugs, I did the cabbage diet, Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, the list goes on and on......Right now, I'm just trying to cut back on my food quantity, but it isn't doing much good. I need to exercise, YUCK!
I hope you're having a good weekend!

capewood said...

That woman in the background is such an obese pig.

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