Cue the Magnum Theme Music

Ah, English Leather, the cologne we bought our dads thinking it was “the good stuff”.

Men who “have it” are good to themselves.  They’re sleek, smooth, pampered and crisply scented when they use the aftershave.

Dependently protected pits with the deodorant. Clean and scented with the FABulous Soap-On-A-Rope (the gag gift of the 70s).  Even their hair is lively, clean and full of body.

Yep, your man reeks of English Leather if he uses all of the products together.  No manly scent from this guy, just perfumed all over. Imagine working with this guy. And because he’s spent all his cash on cologne, he can’t afford a suit.  In fact, he looks a little drugged. 

But that doesn’t matter to Professor Wary-Eye in her pith helmet and safari shirt.  Anthropological study of He Man. She’s taken by that mustache. Beware the moustache.  The moustache is evil.  And very, very Magnum.