Booze: It’s What’s For Christmas, Part 1

I want you to assume that everyone you know drinks, and drinks hard.

Everyone.

Because a Christmas Remembrance Bottle will suit anyone.

Mind you, once they polish it off, remembering you might be hard, but in the meantime, anyone who shows up at your house gets a bottle. 

The old, decrepit mailman gets cold; booze keeps him warm.

The barbers hands shake; booze calms him down. 

Your bowling buddy. Wait, no one has a bowling buddy.

The UPS guy may deliver a surprise (bow chika bow bow) .

The handyman could get handier, booze loosens the nuts.

The butcher might cut you an extra chop, or chop off an arm. 

Your golf partner might birdie you.  Booze on the back 9 is fun!

Your milkman might no charge that cream and tell you how skinny you are.  Booze and cream make eggnog, you know.

Maybe the service station attendant will give you a free lube job. 

Your crazy uncle might stay home with his bottle. 

Your office buddy is a boozer, give him two.

And don’t forget, when you get pulled over, slip O’Malley the cop a bottle and he’ll look the other way.

Ah, the old days, when it wasn’t politically incorrect to give a bottle of booze.  Everyone liked booze.  Booze was your go-to gift.  Well, that and a carton of smokes.

Damn this healthy generation!!

It’s my pleasure to say that thanks to all of you, I sent Blueberry a very large check today.  Whatever she will need to fight off this cancer will be much easier to get thanks to your generous donations.

The pet food drive is still on – feel free to donate food or cash.  I will deliver the food in mid-January – after all the Christmas donations to the shelter get low.