Monday, January 3, 2011

Are You Appealing Enough for your Man?

woman enough
We all know that it’s tough enough to find a man, let alone keep him. 
The Institute for Single Women and Women Who Want to Be has devised this test to see if you are appealing enough to hang onto what you have (or trap what you haven’t).
Just answer the questions and add add 4 points every time you say “yes” (hint: say yes to everything).  These questions are designed to find if you are “Satin and Lace” or “Sweatsocks and Dirty Underwear Hair”.
Covered in this test are everyday activities you should be performing to keep yourself squeaky clean and waste a whole bunch of your time.  Don’t lie and say you do these things when you really spend your time cleaning under the refrigerator and patrolling Bobby’s room for those filthy magazines (that boy will KILL you some day).
If you get a score of 72, you’re passable.  If you get 80 or over, you’re solid, and your personal information will be submitted to our “eligible men” for review.  Since they don’t have to take a test, the list is long.  If you score under 72, turn in your Woman Card and head for the freeway underpass.  It’s the only acceptable place for you.
Report your score below, with any pithy comments you can think of.

14 comments:

Mogley G. Retriever said...

It is time for a New Year's Resolution. Repeat after me, "I will take no test unless large amounts of money are involved". Maybe add "large amounts of chocolate are involved".

No matter what score you get someone will lie and say they beat you. Getting a good score on most of them is the result of taking the test while drunk, also known as TWI, or Testing While Intoxicated. So be suspicious of anyone that reports a high score.


Mogley G. Retriever

lifeinredshoes said...

After answering NO to the first 2 questions I quit!
WTH, do you think a man would ever take a test like this?
My Mother was a believer in Fascinating Womanhood, ever read that one? I'd like to round up every single copy and have a bonfire.
How do you like your marshmellows?

giantspeckledchihuahua said...

The world went to hell when society shifted from matriarchal to patriarchal. This little test is further proof.

houndstooth said...

Bwaaa ha! I failed miserably! I only got 24 points! I will be giggling about this one all night. Cosmo should be paying to to write for them! Heck, I might read Cosmo if you wrote for them, come to think of it!

Mack said...

I just know my mom would fail miserably. We sure do hope you are having a better week.
Sugars,
Mack

3 doxies said...

Hell, I can't even read the blasted thing After biggifying it so I'm assuming I would have failed so who cares!
Sorry you have had such a rough week, it will get better.

Allison

Lidian said...

I gave up after reading that there is such a thing as "Dirty Underwear Hair" - oh dear! And I hope that you're having a much better week this week -

Cooper and Lola said...

ummmm..... i quit after checking no to the first 5 questions heheh. This was fun though

Lisa said...

Pr-e-e-e-e-tty nit-picky, this quiz! I don't know WHO would score very well on that. You'd have to add like two hours to your morning routine just to accomodate all the steps! Still, it's nice to know there's an ideal to which we should aspire. :) Thanks fer sharin'!

Jabacue said...

Hope this week will be better for you Barbara. This time of year can be a real pain!
Didn't figure out my score.....I figured I did something right and hung on to him!! lol
Jim

Dolores said...

Hey sweet friend.... I hope you're having a good week.....
I always love and enjoy reading your blog!!
Hugs,

Tweedles -- that's me said...

my sweet Barbara
I need to send oe of bubbles to circle round you with me in it, then I will kiss you on the cheek.
This week will be better, I have my paws crossed
love
tweedles

Eartha Kitsch said...

Sorry that things have been so hectic lately. :(

I failed this test miserably. I'm pretty sure that a caveman could have scored better than me. Are we REALLY supposed to do all of that stuff?

sophie...^5 said...

I gots me fingers grippin' on tight as all get out...no lettin' go of this catch...phew!

Meet Trixie, Minnie and Jeep!

PitaPata Dog tickers
#1 dog site for dogs & bipeds!
PitaPata Dog tickers
#1 dog site for dogs & bipeds!
PitaPata Dog tickers
#1 dog site for dogs & bipeds!

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed