Monday, January 31, 2011

Damn, You’re Still Alive!


Scene 1: Woman opens door.

“I thought you were dead!”

Scene 2: Woman takes mans coat.

“I started thinking about ways you could die.”

Scene 3: Children gather. “We thought you were dead too.  Mom had her new husband all picked out.”

“Accident?  Heart attack?? Poisoned?

Scene 4": Close up, husband and wife.

“Oh my how we depend on you.  Well, your money that is.  Where’s your wallet?”

Poor Bob.  He’s just a big life insurance policy. And what kind of paranoid, freaked out woman he has for a wife, huh?  He’s late, she’s thinking death.  There’s usually a few things in between late and death, aren’t there?

“Oh well, I kept dinner hot for you.  Maybe tomorrow.”


Elyse and Riley said...

Haha! I'm especially laughing about that last line...

Elyse and Riley

just call me jo said...

Now, dearie, that's just bizarre...

Dolores said...

I'm sorta feeling sorry for this guy....

Benny and Lily said...

Benny & Lily

Tweedles -- that's me said...

too funny!!!

jen said...

Ok...did you read my diary???
Seriously that is so me:) and my hubby's name is Bob...OMG I'm a nut job:)

houndstooth said...

*snicker* I see the spirit of Valentine's Day has arrived early!

3 doxies said...

How much is he worth and what's fur dinner?


CindyLu's Muse said...

Seriously...what would we do without you? THANK YOU for making us laugh!! lol

Mack said...

There's always tomorrow!!


sophie...^5 said...

another 'omg' moment of lmao and soak him for every dime!

Jim said...

Now THAT was chilly!

Vintage Christine said...

Back before we got married (so long ago that no one had a cell phone, which makes it The Stone Age), every time my husband went out with his friends and he didn't come home when he said he was going to, I immediately assumed he was dead. Yeah, yeah, we lived in sin before marriage. I would start assuming that he was dead after I awakened with a start at 2 a.m. and there was no snoring body beside me. At that point I'd get mad and WISH he were dead and usually he'd stumble in shortly thereafter. "I thought you were dead!" I'd whine. "Why didn't you call me? Boo hoo hoo!" "Well," he replied, "I didn't call you because when I saw how late it was, I didn't want to wake you up and hear you yell at me." In other words, he didn't want his shrew of a girlfriend to f**k up his drunkeness.

I did marry him, but he now has a cell phone. And jolly well USES IT!

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