Has your life suffered due to the lack of dimples?
Did you have fantasies of becoming the next Shirley Temple, but lack of dimples held you back?
Wait no more! You too can have spectacular dimples by sending for our latest invention!
Strap this thing on your face and let the two little knobs bore into your cheeks. Six to ten years from now, you will have dimples (or little scars, but please don’t read the fine print)!
Designed to wear while doing housework, this dimple maker is sleek, lightweight and guaranteed to get you a man! Call today!
Not available in Vermont. Use on other body parts is discouraged, but you’ll probably do it anyway. Void where prohibited. If you develop a rash, see your doctor.