That Old Sucking Feeling


Are you unnecessarily bald?  Lots of people don’t realize that baldness is completely a choice.  That’s right, you just aren’t working hard enough at having hair.

If you aren’t using your head muscles and blood vessels enough, the circulation cuts off and kills your hair.  That’s why Sudoku is so popular.  Ever notice a bald person playing Sudoku?  NO!  That’s right!  Every capillary in their scalp is being fired and hair grows like weeds!!

If you have problems stimulating your cranial vessels, there is help.  Our Hydro-Vac Machine works by creating a sucking motion using an ordinary faucet and our magic hat.  It’s a Vacuum Helmet, for goodness sake!  It’s a freaking miracle, that’s what it is!!

It uses the same principle as those horrible expensive head suckers, but this one will only cost you $19.95!! That’s right!  And if you order RIGHT NOW, we’ll throw in our special scalp refresher “Sucker Wash”, a $35.00 value!  What a deal!! 

Don’t wait, call now!

(if you develop a rash, see a doctor)


Men are bald because of poor planning. Men only have so many male hormones and some men use theirs to grow hair.

This machine is sold by the millions today. If you will just compare a photo of the Hydro-Bac M\machine with the modern motorcycle helmet? It is the same thing, it just comes in colors to match your ride. Why do you think those Harley riders have so much hair on their chests? They sleep with the helmet on their stomach. There is one design defect they have not cures yet, when you exceed 90 miles per hour in one, it's suction increases and it removes brains through the hair follicles. Which explains a lot about the motorcycle culture.

Mogley G. Retriever
p.s. We ride motorcycles, we just do it slowly.
Our resident human has been to Bike Week at Sturgis, S.D., three times. He read our post and says that we have just given the only plausable explanation of Bike Week that he has ever read.

Mogley G. Retriever
Uhhh why do I imagine men used that "sucking action" for something else? :O

Oh no, you didn't hear it here, not from me! lol...
Thank goodness we have hair lady
Benny & Lily
Dolores said…
Oh my goodness.... who would have thought there would be such a machine... funny!
houndstooth said…
That's all well and good, but what do you do when you have the opposite problem! :P
greygirl25 said…
OMG, I have some greyhounds with bald butts!

Bring it on sista.

So glad you stopped by, I love your blog.
Jan said…
If I call right now, can you double the offer?
Mack said…
What a great bargain! I'm gonna go order one for my gwandpa right now!
The Thuglets said…
We are pleased we have lots of hair!

Big Nose Pokes
The Thugletsx

Popular Posts