Dad is a Sap

Ha, ha...my dad is such a character!  He dresses funny, sleeps in a nightie (satin and lace, but who cares!) and lives in his own little world, but gosh, he's the bee's knees! He doesn't like anything newfangled and prefers that we stay out of the Atomic Age, but I fool him every day!!  You see, Dad saw me make instant coffee once and nearly plotzed! "No newfangled coffee for me!" he cried as he grabbed my ear.  Normally, he grabs the bone I put in my hair for just that reason, but Dad's so silly!  He's always doing something new to surprise me. "You give me old fashioned ground coffee or I'll smack you!" he bellowed.  Ha, ha, Dad's a card. So I pulled out my old percolator and pretended to make "real" coffee, but I secretly filled his cup with Borden's Instant and a little rat poison.  He loved it!  Now he won't drink anything else, which in a week or two will serve my purposes well. Dad's such a character!  I think I'll bury him in that ascot.  Hmmm, Paris....